Kaleidoscope: BIRTHDAY BLUES :-)

Kaleidoscope: BIRTHDAY BLUES :-)

BIRTHDAY BLUES :-)

Most woman have an uncanny knack to remember dates especially birthdays and anniversaries. Men have an equal knack to forget them. I am sure many of you will agree! As I grow older I wish to God that this gift disappears since it will save me from knowing that I am ageing and also reminding others of their growing age when I end up wishing them!!

            There are a few humorous incidents connected with my birthday. Here are a few.

            My husband is "good" enough not to wish me on these special days but imagine my surprise when he wished me a happy birthday as I handed him his morning coffee!!!! That day happened to be my fortieth year in this world and I was planning to enjoy it every bit. No parties, cakes, balloons, eat drinks, etc! I was going to count the number of greetings I would get.

             So that was a good start! What next?

            Sure, there it is! Two fab cards from my kids. They made it themselves! Wow!

 But wait, there has to be a hitch somewhere. I get a call early morning from an unknown number.

I wonder who that could be as I pick up the phone. Not a well wisher but my maid to report sick.

Just what I need!!

            After my stint in the kitchen, I reach office. Till now the polling has not been up to my expectations. Besides my mom and brother none called in. I was expecting calls from three of my best friends but drew a blank there. Most surprising was the response from my colleagues. I thought that I’ll be flooded with wishes since our intra-site flashes the name of employees whose date of birth coincides with each working day.  None responded. Oh, well!!! 

            As the day wore on I stopped counting because there was nothing to count and it was the most obscure birthday I had. Good for me. Nobody knew that  I turned  forty!!

            But it would be a solace to know that I got a few wishes on my cell from Max Newyork life, LIC of India, HDFC Bank, Indyarocks and a few other companies!!!

            Another episode I recall is this.

            As usual it was a day where my husband forgot to wish me. . As he was getting ready for office he could hear my friends calling me. “Samyu, What’s it with your friends today. They have been calling you since morning?”

            “Must be a coincidence.” I replied. I was fuming inside that he forgot. It was our second year of marriage and I was expecting a wish from him, naturally!!! But none was forthcoming and my friends’ calls didn’t provide him any ample clue.

            As he sat down for breakfast I asked him “Ravi, what’s the date today?”

            “18^th, why do you ask?”

            And then suddenly his face just sparked up and said “Oh my God, I completely forgot!”

            Finally, he remembered! I was getting myself ready to hear an apology when he said “I have to honour three cheque payments tomorrow. I wonder where I am going to get the funds from. Thanks, Samyu for reminding me!” Saying so, he gave me a peck on the cheek and rushed to office.

            Another year.  Another birthday. Hubby dear forgot.

           

             In the evening as he returned from office he handed me a bunch of flowers without saying anything. 
I was surprised that he remembered, but, inquisitive as I was, I wanted to know why he got them.

            “Hey, Ravi, flowers! From where?”

           

            “They are for you, dear!!”

            And may be I should have stopped there!

            A few hours later I still prodded. “These flowers are beautiful. Where did you buy them from?” I asked nonchalantly.

            “I got the car serviced at a new place and the guys out there gave it to me!”

            Well, I should have stopped earlier!!!

            Over the years I have come to realize in my own philosophical way that birthdays are not restricted to just one particular day of the year. Each day we are being born.  Thousands of our cells are destroyed each day and new ones replace them. Physiologically we are remade everyday! Each day sees us alive because we are overcoming what is finally inevitable, Death!  Again as human beings aren’t most of us evolving each day to become better persons?

So isn’t each day our birthday? 

SLICE OF LIFE

“Radha teacher!”  

She  heard somebody call out her name in the crowded marriage hall. She turned around to see a vaguely familiar face smiling down at her. A pretty woman in her thirties stood before her.

“Do you remember me?”

The old teacher tried to recollect when suddenly she said “Oh my God! Its Ambili, isn’t it? My girl, how are you? It’s been such a long time since….” her voice dropped and she looked sadly at Ambili.

“It’s alright teacher, I have come to terms with all that happened years ago. Today I am happy. Here is my family, my husband, Pramod and my two daughters.”

The teacher looked at Pramod and almost instinctively placed her palms on his head as if to bless. Ambili’s eyes welled up in tears and she hugged her. 

Radha teacher, as she was fondly called by her colleagues, students and even the local

people in her village, was surprised to see her student after such a long time. As she sat there watching the marriage proceedings, her mind raced back to a time, 25 years back when she was a teacher in the village school.

Ambili was a student there who excelled in her studies. But as she reached her tenth class, her marks began to show a marked change and she began to frequently absent herself from school. Moreover, the girl became very morose and silent.

Radha was her class teacher and she called Ambili, one day, to find out what was wrong.

Looking at the girl sitting across her, fidgeting nervously with the ends of her shirt, she saw a pretty 15 year old with the saddest eyes ever! There was so much of melancholy on her face that Radha teacher could sense some hidden turbulence in her student’s mind.

The teacher spoke softly to her, “What’s your problem? You can tell me.

You are such a bright girl and we want you to do well in the exams. What’s ailing you,

dear? We’ll find a solution for it."

Tears began to roll down her face and in between sobs she said, “ Teacher, my mother, as you know,

 is bedridden with cancer and I have to attend to her most of the time. Besides, I have to do all the household chores. My father goes off to work and we live by his income alone. And now my brother has come back from the army blind in both eyes. So I have to take care of his needs too. Sometimes I am unable to attend school, and…..and…….” so saying she began to cry .

Ambili then looked up at her teacher intensely as if wanting to tell more.

“What is it, dear? Is there anything else?  We’ll work it out, child. Don’t worry.” Saying this Radha walked to her ward and patted her shoulders. All of a sudden the girl got up and ran out of the room crying.

That was the last Radha saw of her because Ambili stopped coming to school altogether.

Being a small village any news, big or small, spreads fast. One such was the death of Ambili’s mother. But Radha was shocked and vexed to hear another bit of news from her student’s neighbours when she went to Ambili’s house to offer condolences.

“That girl is clearly pregnant,” whispered one of them. “She has bouts of vomiting in the morning,” she offered additional gossip.

But, in a few days time the news spread like wildfire and the villagers took upon themselves to delve into the matter. The question in everybody’s mind was clearly about who was responsible, whether the girl was at fault or if any mishap had fallen her.

The villagers questioned the father and brother but both were helpless about the matter.

A few women forced the girl to reveal the name. Though initially she refused, she relented later and said that she would reveal the truth to Radha teacher alone.

That evening, the teacher and a few prominent villagers reached Ambili’s house. Radha

was uncomfortable in this new role but she knew she had to face it. But she was not ready for what she heard from Ambili . It unnerved her and almost made her puke. She even doubted the girl at first. But listening to all that the poor girl had to say she was convinced of the truth. The naked truth that the girl’s father himself was responsible for his daughter’s pregnancy!!

What later ensued was mayhem which the teacher didn’t want to recollect. But she later heard that the tormentor was beaten up and hospitalized. Ambili left the village with her brother. But as is evident today, she got a good life. Pramod was good and large hearted enough to come forward and support her.

This is a slice of life of the girl, Ambili. This happened in the late '60s in a small village in God's own country.

The story ends here. But the crux of the matter, child abuse and incestuous relationships, is still rampant. It is not always that the tormented meet with happy endings. The physical and mental turmoil that the abused goes through and the many fears that she has to later tackle in life can cripple her mentally. Such incidents can make or break an individual. To come out of such sexual and physical abuse is a big step and then to live, leaving behind the scars is another effort. When the subjects are children and adolescents, the matter is graver because the perpetrators are most of the time a close friend or relative who has an emotional upper hand over the abused. The most underlying thing called trust in such relation is torn apart and shattered. 

This is a subject that requires a lot of discussion. May be another blog?